Save time, book online. Close X. Back to Living Better Living Better newsletter. Zip Code. What does holding a grudge do to your health? Holding onto a grudge can significantly impact your mental and physical health. Buttimer recommends the following steps to help you let go of resentment.
Share this story. Ariane L. Machin , a clinical psychologist in Raleigh, N. We can feel disempowered after someone wrongs us, even if they do so unintentionally or without malice. Fran Walfish , a family and relationship psychotherapist and author based in Beverly Hills, California. Taking a counter-intuitive approach can be done, though, and may be in your best interest.
According to Manchin, holding onto a grudge can contribute to falling into negative thought spirals. Each person is born with a threshold for how much they can tolerate. Thankfully, this is human and often the ending of any bad relationship. The key is to get better, not bitter about the situation. Many relationships get muddled because resentments become deep-rooted.
Some people have a hard time being a good friend when their friends are succeeding. These deep-seated issues are not with your friend but rather with you. Can you believe that good relationships have ended over cars, boats, new homes, and other material things? To be a friend, you must always show yourself friendly, even when you wish you had the money or possessions that your friend owns.
How many times have you felt left out in life? Are you one of those people that have friends that only call or text you when they need something? What about the feeling you had as a kid when someone passed out invitations to a birthday party, but you sat there empty-handed? The fuel for grudges can start with the smallest of grievances. The problem is that it might not have been their goal, and they may not have even known that they hurt you.
Consequently, when you feel mistreated, a grudge is born, and it may last for an extended period if no one ever opens the doors of communication. Now that you know the most common reasons why people hold grudges, you need to learn what you can do to combat these issues. Here are five ways that you can handle grievances and deal with closed-minded people. When you assume things, it makes for a difficult situation.
It may be time to end the relationship and go your separate ways, but at least you can end things on a positive note rather than with hate and malice. Whether you agree or not, you need to validate their feelings and ensure that their voice is heard. For a moment, you need to switch roles. Remember, perception is a big part of the problem when it comes to grudges. When you look at things through their eyes, you will see many different versions of the events.
Sometimes, you must forgive and forget, no matter how painful the situation. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to wield in your life. The first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you've done and how they have affected others. Avoid judging yourself too harshly. If you're truly sorry for something you've said or done, consider admitting it to those you've harmed.
Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret, and ask for forgiveness — without making excuses. Remember, however, you can't force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect. There is a problem with information submitted for this request.
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